


Take a step back (and try again)

by Atrche



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Getting Back Together, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22373845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atrche/pseuds/Atrche
Summary: "In a different place, there's a celebrating couple. And although, they have some distanceWhen they first notice the separation, they reach out hoping for happiness"
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Take a step back (and try again)

**Author's Note:**

> Rated Mature for implied sexual content. I got this idea last night and thought I should get it out.   
> All mistakes are mine and this is not beta-ed but enjoy anyways.

There were no tears when they decided to break apart. The decision was agreed by both parties, although Jun had insisted to try a little longer and see how it'll work out. But of course, they've been trying and nothing seemed to work out in the end. 

Jun watched as Sho packed his bags and took down all of his belongings he had put on the wall, and yet no tears at all. As if he was emotionless at the time, he just stand still and watched Sho as he checked every corner in the room to see if there's anything left behind. 

Had it been another problem maybe they could sort it out, but the problem actually was created by the foolishness of them both. Back then they smiled, giggled, laughed, and made love together. They were happy, but it seemed that it didn't last. Their job got in the way, everytime they talked they always ended up getting in a fight. They rarely see each other even though they're living together. Now that Jun think about it, it's probably for the best, for both of them. 

Jun stood still when Sho pulled his luggage out and put on his shoes. Sho looked at him and bowed at him with a weak smile before leaving his apartment for good. But Jun didn't cry, in fact he didn't feel anything. He became numb, the sudden emptiness of his apartment creeping him out. 

Minutes become hours, hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months, and months became years. That's how long they've been apart. 

Jun couldn't really remember the exact date, but he knew it was a year ago. And if he were to be asked whether he's alright or not, he'll probably answer yes. Surely the impact of losing Sho was something that Jun couldn't bear at first, but as time passed, he learned a trick or two to get his mind off. And busying himself at work is included. 

Once everyone in his work knew he became single, people started to get close to him. Jun had been invited to many dates, but always rejected them. They won't be as exciting as Sho in dates, Jun knew. 

Many had asked him to have sex with them, and although the invitation intrigued him, he always rejected them. For he know that there'll be no one that can top Sho when they're in bed. Only Sho can make his fantasies come true, and now that he's gone there's no one that will make himself feel good like Sho. 

Perhaps he missed Sho, but maybe that's because Jun had missed getting laid. 

But his busy job helped him a lot, it helped him forget about everything but his work, and he appreciated it a lot. There were times when he would just go home, take a shower, probably eat dinner before heading straight to sleep, tired of his work. And Jun was honestly fine. 

Another month passed, when Jun met Sho's friend who he hasn't seen ever since they broke up. When Nino, Sho's friend, saw his face at that time, he wasn't judging him, instead he had a soft expression on his face, probably feeling sympathy for Jun. 

He invited him out for lunch that day and they talked about almost everything. Nino had told him that Sho was doing better than when they were together. Jun felt his heart broke a little, but he didn't show it, he just nodded and hummed. But perhaps Nino noticed it and his expression changed, as if he's looking at Jun as a lost kitten. 

Nino kissed him that day, and asked him to give Nino a chance. The truth is Nino was the one who fell in love with Jun before Sho decided to go for it too, that time Nino held back and let his friend chase after Jun. But he couldn't bear seeing Jun like this after what Sho did to him. The impulse leads to them making love in Nino's apartment that night, and while Nino was fucking him, Jun couldn't help but think about Sho and Nino's word. 

Sho's face flashed in his mind every time he closed his eyes and moaned to the sensation. He imagined that it was Sho instead who's making love to him. 

He woke up at around three in the morning, feeling sticky and gross after all the session they've done the night before. And while he's awake, he was thinking all the time. Even Nino, whose mouth is very capable of sucking and blowing him off, couldn't make him good as Sho does. He wasn't sure if he actually missed Sho, but he somehow felt like this isn't right. 

He left Nino's apartment, feeling guilty. He somehow felt like he cheated Sho even though they're no longer together. He also had rejected Nino's confession the next day. He doesn't want Nino to be his impingement. 

He went back to his busy work, doing more work to the extent where he didn't go home at all for a few days. He can feel his feelings reawakening for Sho and he's preventing it to be awakened fully. 

His colleague and friend, Aiba, had decided to drag him out of his work and invited him to a bar that Aiba was very familiar with. Turns out, the owner was Aiba's friend, and they had gone a long way. The owner, Ohno, was Aiba's senior at the university. They used to date each other before realizing that they were better off with being friends with benefits. 

Jun was given too many shots that he thought he saw Sho somewhere along the crowd in the bar. He searched for him but he couldn't find him and thought that his mind is probably playing tricks on him. 

He decided to drink more and as he became more drunk he started to think about all of his and Sho's moments together. He started to think about Sho's laugh, Sho's eating face, Sho's serious face when he's working Sho's touch, Sho's mouth, Sho's hug, but not forgetting Sho's angry face. He started to miss him, he realized, but he didn't cry at all nor he's feeling like he wanted to cry. 

Aiba and Ohno who deeply concerned for him, decided to call it a night and take him back to his apartment. Jun couldn't remember what Aiba and Ohno were talking in the car, but he clearly remembered Aiba's concerned look every now and then through the mirror. 

When they left Jun on the bed and waved goodbye before leaving him in his apartment all alone, he curled to his side. When he looked at his nightstand, he realized he hadn't tidy up his framed picture of him and Sho together last christmas before their break up. He sighed and put the frame down so their smiling faces won't hurt him. He slept that night knowing there'll be a huge headache coming for him on the next day. 

Two years have passed before he even knew it, and Sho frequently came to his head every now and then. It hurts him, knowing that Sho was happier that they've broken up but it goes the other way round for Jun. He probably should move on, search for another one, get laid more, but his head seemed to be stuck on Sho. 

He sighed, his work became monstrous. He thought many times to stop, but if he does that he'll think of Sho again. He failed from trying to make his heart stop loving Sho, he was too deeply in love. And now he's regretting it, regret of not stopping Sho when he walked out from his apartment room. 

Every night when he's at his lowest, and missed Sho so badly, he touched himself and jerked himself off imagining it was Sho who's doing it to him. But it wasn't enough, and after all of that Jun missed him more. 

That time too he missed Sho's everything, his kindness, his playful side, his seriousness, and his smile. It hurts so much, he realized after two years of being apart. 

But there's nothing he can do, what's done is done. 

He became less passionate about his work, about his life. Though all through the year he never shed a single tear. He realized, when Sho walked out from his apartment, he took some part Jun away from him. There were many times where he thought maybe he could call him or text him, asking his condition. But he knew he'll disturb Sho, so he didn't. 

After all, as far as he knew, Sho was happier than before.

Jun fell asleep one day at the floor on the living room. He was very tired from all the work he's been doing for three days straight with no sleep. The others were concerned, but none can make Jun stop. It was only until Aiba forced him, also earning some punch from Jun, that he was finally back at home. The dishes from three days ago were still on the sink, waiting for Jun to clean it up.

But his body gave up, he was at his limit. He fell to the ground, unable to move, then he let himself fall asleep on the cold, dusty floor. 

When he woke up though, it was because of a knock on his door. Probably his neighbor trying to give or tell him something, Jun didn't care, he was too tired. After a while, he forced his limbs to work and managed to stand up while still a little wobbly. Whoever is behind that door, is too persistent in knocking. Jun yawned and rubbed his eyes before he opened the door. 

Suddenly his knees felt weak. 

"Jun, I'm sorry" was all he said. Jun has thought of countless possibility, of Nino probably asking him try again, or Aiba and Ohno checking on him, until his sister came back to see what Jun is doing. But it didn't cross his mind at all that out of all people, Sho decided to come.

It was then, he felt his first tear in forever fall from his eyes. He gave up on his knees and kneeled on the floor. He cried, trapped emotions overflowing him all at once. Sho,  _ his Sho _ , is now right in front of him, wearing the stupid sweater that Jun once had bought him for their first anniversary. He cried, and cried, he couldn't stop his tears. 

Sho rushed inside and held Jun tightly. Jun rested his head on Sho's shoulder and buried his face, he cried there, not caring if he wet the sweater. Not too long after, he can hear Sho's cry too, Sho's body shudders as he cried and rubbed Jun's back. One of his hands stroked Jun's hair, and together they cried. Letting all their feelings out in the air. 

Jun never knew this kind of thing was possible, for Sho to come back for him. He held Sho tightly, afraid he might lose him again. He cried and quietly shouted in distress, he left a quick kiss on Sho's neck. 

"I'm sorry Jun, we could've sort it out. I was too foolish. I couldn't bear this two whole years, it's too hurtful. Leaving you was the stupidest decision I ever made. I should've not left you, I should've listened to what you said. I'm sorry I hurt you. I hope you can forgive me in some way. I love you, I still do, I've always been. I'm sorry Jun really it's my fault-"

"Shush" Jun cut him through his rambling. He cupped Sho's face with both of his hands, and leaned his forehead on Sho's. Sho couldn't stop crying and neither can Jun. Their clothes are wet, but they didn't care. 

"I'm sorry too, okay? I should've talked you out of it. I should've asked you to stay even more. It's my fault too. I love you too" Jun said, between his crying. 

Sho wiped his tears, even though it's still flowing, with his fingers and then smiled weakly. He looked up to Jun, who's looking at him with his soft eyes. 

Sho kissed Jun, their kiss was slow, but it felt like a reunion. It tasted sweet, comforting, but passionate and affirmed. They didn't want to rush things, so Jun lazily invaded Sho's mouth. When they parted, they still couldn't stop their tears. 

Sho smiled, and then he stood up bringing Jun along with him. He carried Jun's body, and he kissed Jun once again, this time more passionate and wanting. Jun brought Sho's head closer, and Sho parted his lips to let Jun's tongue slips inside. 

Sho brought Jun to the bedroom and carefully lay him down on the bed, without breaking their kiss at all. Sho carefully crawled on top of Jun and he doesn't wait for Jun's permission first before unbuttoning Jun's shirt. He seemed to be rushed, but Jun didn't care. He let Sho make love to him as much as he wanted that night, he let Sho do whatever he wants to him. He doesn't care, as long as it's Sho. 

They fell asleep eventually, bodies were sticky and stuck together. Jun had never fallen asleep so soundly. He was glad that Sho is back to his life. He was glad Sho came back for him. He was glad everything sorted out in the end. 

When he woke up in the early morning, he looked at Sho and hold him tightly, to make sure he won't ever lose him again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a big sucker for angst, and also bottom Jun. So I made it with that thought on my mind.   
> Thank your reading this fic, comments will be appreciated.


End file.
